Friday 28 June 2013

Holding hope

It would be nice to say that being in my garden this year has taught me patience but I really doubt that. I have watched the seeds germinate, the lodgers in the greenhouse grow anew and my joyous daffodils bloom, dance, fade and die. I thought then "everything has its time". I watered the green stems in their overcrowded tubs and thought of allowing them to complete their natural cycle  until that is I ran out of tubs. The bulbs are in the greenhouse and they have now been replaced with sweetpeas! They in turn are glorious. I could sit by them for hours. It is easier to hold hope when the sun shines, the birds sing and the bees hum.

Counsellors often talk of "holding" whatever the client brings. Sometimes there is nothing else you can do with it. It's not as if you can say, "that's really awful, lets talk about something else". At those times you just "stay with" the client and "notice" or "hold" that awfulness whilst they explore its meaning in their life. Seems such an important and useful thing to do. Sometimes its about the possibility of hope lying within the client's story and at other times it's about being with the client whilst he/ she creates their own hope and yet at other times it's like holding that hope until the client is able to hold it him/ herself.


Hope is one of those things we could take for granted. If life is ok there is seldom need to think about it. We probably don't notice the number of times we say "hopefully" or "hopeless" but I think hope is what makes life possible . I remember being told long ago that it was part of the human condition but it is so much more than that: it is a fundamental need. For those times when our inner orientation is out of sync talking makes a difference- even when you didn't think it would. People seldom need advice about their feelings but being heard can be huge, very powerful- doesn't need to be a therapist just someone you trust who will listen. Don't leave it too long- Life is short enough.